Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
