my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I just found puke in my bra..
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
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