I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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