I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
