He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this hospital has no fireball
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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