I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
well most of my day revolves around power hour
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
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