This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
Randomize
