ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Randomize
