I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
it hurts more in the daytime
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
