no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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