It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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