I'm jealous of your bromance
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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