so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
