Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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