Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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