Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
This is classic penis vs brain.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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