I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Randomize