she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
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