The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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