Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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