with your own penis?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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