I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
