I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
