Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Someone came in the potted fern
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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