About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
the raccoons are back...
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