the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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