One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
