Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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