The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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