I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
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