Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
