Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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