you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He passed out mid-signature
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
When are your genitals available?
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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