i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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