in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
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We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
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She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
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