When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
