Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
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