It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
