Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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