Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
It's never too late to be topless.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
