M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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