Dual....:-)
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
