so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
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