We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
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