yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
