i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
That accounts for only three of the penises
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
