there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
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