Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
