Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
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i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
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