Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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