On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
