Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
