i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
my sisters under your porch take her home
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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