I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
