You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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