Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
