I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
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