That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
