What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
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Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
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He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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