This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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